Oh, The Irony: Tuberville, New Mexico and the BCS

Modern day prophet Bart Simpson captures the news brilliantly:

Oh yes, the ironing is delicious.

Tommy Tuberville and a University of New Mexico regent are diving headfirst into the BCS deep end, both without their Water Wings.

Tuberville has shown no issue with very publicly stating eyeroll-worthy opinions. He channeled his inner-Donald Trump earlier this spring in questioning President Obama’s citizenship. Now, he’s suggesting his 2004 Auburn team be retroactively declared BCS champions. I would say Tuberville should refrain from throwing stones in his glass house, but that would be an inaccurate metaphor. It’s more like he’s firing a one-ton boulder from a catapult within his glass house.

Coach Tuberville doesn’t strike me as the type who would subscribe to HBO, so it’s entirely plausible he is oblivious to the Real Sports investigative piece from March. Ohio State pushed that to the back pages, so if you need a reminder or like Tuberville and apparently missed it, here goes: football player says he was paid cash by boosters. Said boosters were Auburn boosters. Said player was on the 2004 Tiger roster. Said roster was coached by Tuberville. Now, equally as plausible as Tuberville missing the report is details were fabricated. Maybe Stanley McGlover got a little too into Season 5 of “Friday Night Lights” and confused details of Vince’s recruiting to his own. Remember, I said the scenarios are equally plausible.

An investigation could exonerate that era of Tiger football. Then again, it could cause a whole new headache. Either way, staking claim to a championship USC lost for NCAA violations given the allegations is the pinnacle of irony.

And right next to Tuberville planting its own flag on Mount Irony is New Mexico. Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff is at the forefront of the BCS antitrust pursuit, representing a state university that has valid BCS beef. UU was twice undefeated, twice the winner of a BCS bowl (including in the controversial 2004 campaign), and once was the sole unbeaten (which, if an NCAA investigation against AU uncovers wrongdoing, could be twice for the Utes). But neither time was Utah given a crack at the BCS championship.

New Mexico seeking to jump into that fray makes a lot less sense, and if anything invalidates Utah’s argument. I drive a late 2000s Toyota Corolla. BMW issues a recall on its 2010 M3. I demand a rebate or trade-in on the M3 that I don’t own, but would like to one day. Now granted, as a Mountain West affiliate, UNM would have received a cut of Utah’s hypothetical BCS championship cheque. But if I benefit from say, my wife owning the recalled M3, that doesn’t give me any greater claim to the recall.

And to further compound the absurdity, in my analogy I drive a Corolla. Of late, the Lobos have more closely resembled a 1980s Yugo with 300,000 miles and faulty transmission.

There are battles worth fighting. These aren’t examples.