Paul Wulff and the Worst Coaches of All-Time

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With a 9-40 record at Washington State, it was no shocker that Paul Wulff was fired earlier this week (and quickly replaced with Mike Leach).  Wulff’s brutal run as coach of the Cougars was miserable, but certainly not the worst over the last 30 years.  Let’s take a look at Wulff and some other college football coaches who were flat-out disinterested in winning football games.

While Wulff inherited a terrible situation from former coach Bill Doba (the 67-year-old stopped bother to recruit his last few years), he continued to use this as an excuse even during his fourth year at the helm.  Descriptions such as “we’re young and inexperience” in his first year gradually morphed into, “This was the worst BCS program in America when I got here… by a long, long, long ways” by his fourth year.  Even with a 2-win improvement this year (2-10 to 4-8), Wulff’s winning percentage at WSU was a woeful 0.225%.  That level of ineffectiveness, and evidently Wulff’s penchant for burritos, led to this farewell tribute:

But hey, maybe the Pirate and his crew of fat, little girlfriends will sail in and take over the Pac-12.  But even with a 9-40 record, Wulff’s wretched failure doesn’t compare to the “refuse to win” mantra of former Kansas St. coach, Stan Parrish.  From ’78-’80, Parrish won two games, tied another, and shat the bed 30 times.  His 0.067% winning percentage surely has to be the worst in the history of the NCAA, right?  Wrong.  Enter Rick Venturi of Northwestern.

Even though he was equipped with the very ’70s-appropriate porno ‘stache and belt-less, high-waisted pants, Venturi set an even lower bar with a career 1-31-1 record.  With such a sterling tenure of ineptitude, Venturi’s near perfect run of defeat should be recognized with a plaque in the College Football Hall of Fame. But what’s this?  A darkhorse candidate has emerged?  Yes, and this man is former New Mexico coach, Mike Locksley.

While his 92.3% losing percentage (2-26) is not quite as mind-meltingly terrible as Venturi’s 93.5%, Locksley takes the Worst Coach Ever cake because his embarrassing off-field performance matched his embarrassing on-field performance.  In less than 2.5 seasons, M-Lock managed to get sued for sexual harassment and get suspended for punching an assistant coach in the face.  That is truly incredible work.  Celebrate him while you can as we may never again see a coach with his combination of disastrously incompetent decision-making and fascinatingly deplorable coaching abilities.  Congratulations, Mike Locksley!