NFL Draft 2016: Laremy Tunsil scorches Ole Miss on draft night

Apr 28, 2016; Chicago, IL, USA; Laremy Tunsil (Mississippi) is selected by the Miami Dolphins as the number thirteen overall pick in the first round of the 2016 NFL Draft at Auditorium Theatre. Mandatory Credit: Kamil Krzaczynski-USA TODAY Sports
Apr 28, 2016; Chicago, IL, USA; Laremy Tunsil (Mississippi) is selected by the Miami Dolphins as the number thirteen overall pick in the first round of the 2016 NFL Draft at Auditorium Theatre. Mandatory Credit: Kamil Krzaczynski-USA TODAY Sports /

Let’s relive the magic that was the first night of the 2016 NFL Draft for Ole Miss offensive lineman Laremy Tunsil.

For first round targets, the NFL Draft can either be a magical wonderland prom where you go home with the prom queen or a horror story that ends in the most depressing place imaginable, Cleveland.

Never before in the storied history of the NFL Draft has a player had a night as spectacularly glorious in its beautiful failure as Laremy Tunsil though. Truly this was a special night for Laremy Tunsil and the Ole Miss Black Rebel Land Bear Sharks.

On a night when everyone wants to look and sound their best, Laremy Tunsil showed up to the draft looking very crisp indeed. Deion Sanders, eat your heart out.

I’m really sad that Prince didn’t live to see Laremy Tunsil’s shoes.

Then shortly before the draft Tunsil tweeted something very strange indeed.

Tweeting a video of you smoking from a gas mask bong moments before the draft probably doesn’t do your draft stock much good. By the end of the night it would be hard to tell who had fallen farther – Laremy Tunsil in this draft or Robert Nkemdiche out of that Atlanta window last December

Laremy was quick to explain that his account had been hacked and that the video was from years ago, probably before he was even at Ole Miss.  You see, Laremy Tunsil has always enjoyed civil war reenactments. Normally I’d assume anyone who said “I’ve been hacked” is lying, but I doubt Tunsil took the time to tweet this video tonight from the draft. Someone is out to get Laremy Tunsil and they probably cost him a Scrooge McDuck sized vault of money tonight.

It wasn’t all bad for Tunsil though, some high power friends jumped to stand up for him.

Jimmy Sexton could sell you beach front property in Nebraska with a straight face.

What was the most touching though was that Ole Miss’ Head Pope Reverend Coach Hugh Freeze spoke out about what a fine young man Laremy Tunsil is.  Freeze knows that he shares a bond with Laremy Tunsil that only an intense men’s bible study of Leviticus can create.

I’m thankful too Amy, way to go Head Pope Reverend Coach Freeze!

Then moments after Hugh Freeze’s impassioned defense of all that was good and pure in the world this happened…

Laremy hadn’t gotten around to changing his passwords on his Instagram, it’s been a busy night after all. Hopefully, after this Tunsil went and made sure his MySpace page was deleted.

This isn’t a big deal for Tunsil, he’s gone, but Mississippi is now burning.  What’s really sad about the timing of these revelations is that so many Ole Miss fans told me that next year was their year! Hugh Freeze might also have just been screwed out of that Texas job he was going to be offered after Charlie Strong wins 5 games next year.  It’s probably the first time Hugh Freeze has been screwed for any reason other than procreation.

Luckily the saga had a happy ending when Laremy Tunsil was drafted by the Miami Dolphins at 13!

It certainly got the official Ole Miss football account excited.

Highest? Really?

Just when you thought it was all going to work out for Laremy though there was yet another George R.R. Martin style murderous death twist.

That’s Laremy Tunsil admitting that he took money from a coach and performing the scorched earth maneuver on Ole Miss like his middle name was Stalin.

Ole Miss fans are now changing their hate list to read as follows:

  1. Laremy Tunsil
  2. Grant
  3. Sherman
  4. Lincoln
  5. Dan Mullen

Hugh Freeze went on TV and defended Laremy Tunsil, and then Laremy Tunsil turned around and did this to him.

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How Jimmy Sexton let this happen I have no idea.

If that lady works for Jimmy Sexton she is sooooooo fired.

Laremy Tunsil went full Han Solo tonight folks, and Ole Miss is probably going to reap the whirlwind.

Now don’t start counting on Ole Miss to get the death penalty, this is the NCAA we are talking about.  This organization let North Carolina have fake classes and then was like…

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No matter what though we will never have a draft with quite this much drama… also Ole Miss’ sudden crazy success in recruiting make a lot more sense now.

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More saturday blitz: NFL Draft 2016: 10 Biggest Surprises of First Round

Quite the interesting night indeed, the stuff that true (urban) legends are made of…or was that final destinations. It’s hard to keep those horror franchises separated. What do you think about the legend of Laremy Tunsil’s 2016 NFL Draft? Let us know in the comments below.