EXCLUSIVE: (Fake) Transcript Between NCAA, Manziel
Texas A&M QB Johnny Manziel sat down with NCAA investigators for six hours before he was suspended for the first half of the Rice game. Mandatory Credit: Troy Taormina – USA TODAY Sports
The NCAA interviewed Texas A&M QB Johnny Manziel for six hours Sunday before ultimately deciding to suspend him for the first half of Saturday’s game against Rice.
We at Saturday Blitz got our hands on the transcript of the first 1 minute, 59 seconds of the NCAA’s interview with Manziel.
Here it is:
Investigator: Mr. Manziel, thanks for coming to this interview.
Manziel: No problem.
Investigator: So you run the campus around here. Is that fair to say?
Manziel: Absolutely. I’m the boss.
Investigator: OK, so take us through a day in the life of the boss.
Manziel: Well the first thing I do is… Talk to Sumlin.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Go to practice.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Fly to Cali.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Throw out the first pitch.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Play Pebble Beach.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Work out in the ocean.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Fly to Miami.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Watch LeBron James.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Take a pic.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Instagram that bitch.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Twitter harassment.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Call Kid Perfect.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Stick some sick throws.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Blow up on SportsCenter.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Live like a college kid.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Sign some footballs.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: And some jerseys.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Sign some titties.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Take the straight cash.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Buy some rims.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: No receipt.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Sign a visor.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: And 1,000 shirts.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Buy a new Jeep.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Still straight cash.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Go to Austin.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Find a frat house.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Pick up ladies.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Get thrown out.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Duck from beer cans.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Beat the Bammers.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Grab another Heisman.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Win a title.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Enter the Draft.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Get drafted by the Jets.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Get Rex fired.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Sign some more crap.
(Like a boss.)
Manziel: Now I’m rich.
(Like a boss.)
Investigator: Uh-huh. So that’s an average day for you then?
Manziel: No doubt.
Investigator: You play Pebble Beach and get drafted?
Manziel: Hell yeah.
Investigator: And I think at some point in there you said something about spending autograph money on rims?
Manziel: Nope.
Investigator: Actually, I’m pretty sure you did.
Manziel: Nah. That ain’t me.
Investigator: OK. Well this has been eye-opening to me.
Manziel: I’m the boss.
Investigator: Yeah I know. You said that 400 times.
Manziel: I’m the boss.
Investigator: Yeah. Yeah. I got it.
Manziel: I’m the boss.
Investigator: OK. Great. I heard you. Bye.