College Football: Ranking the best players names of all time

5. Phat Watts, Tulane

Anytime a football player is called “fat” anything depending on the position, he is instantly a beloved character. Spelling it with a “Ph”? That makes it one of the greatest names of all time. Alas, Phat is not his real first name as he is actually Nataurean Watts, but he is listed as Phat on Tulane’s official depth chart, so that’s what I’m going with here. He played in all 12 games as a receiver last year.

4. Rocky Lombardi, Northern Illinois

To be named Lombardi and play football is to suggest greatness, but then to be named after another sports legend is almost too American to handle. Alas, the weight of expectations might have been too much for the quarterback as he struggled at times at Michigan State before being replaced and opting for a new start at Northern Illinois this offseason.

3. Bacarri Rambo, Georgia/ Charleston Rambo, Miami

When you have the name Rambo emblazoned across the back of your jersey, you’re on a mission. Bacarri Rambo was memorable on defense at Georgia from 2009-12, but he was not always known by his current name. That’s because he used to go by Goo Fudge. Seriously. Only when he was about to enroll in college did he become known by what is his legal name.

Meanwhile, the unrelated Charleston Rambo was a wide receiver at Oklahoma before transferring to Miami this offseason for his senior year where he hopes to make a name for himself beyond just his already awesome surname.

2. Weston Steelhammer, Air Force

Not only is his last name Steelhammer, but the fact that he suited up for the Air Force gets him bonus points. Steelhammer played safety for the Falcons from 2013-16 where he became team captain and totaled over 200 tackles. He was named as a second-team All-American in his senior year by Sporting News. However, as a boxing fan in my spare time, part of me wishes he would someday pursue a doctorate so he could be known as Dr. Steelhammer which was the nickname of former heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitschko.

1. Whitney Mercilus, Illinois

His last name is so uncompromising, you have to name the man “Whitney” just to take the edge off. Mercilus has been in the NFL for almost a decade now as a linebacker for the Houston Texans, but before that, he was a fearsome defensive end at Illinois from 2009-11. He broke out as a junior in his final year with the team when he led the country in sacks and forced fumbles and would receive numerous honors including being named a unanimous first-team All-American.