It's been an unprecedented year in terms of college football head coach firings in 2025. Eleven coaches were given their walking papers before November 1, and there could potentially still be more.
That's a lot of teams diving into the same pool. The question is, which one will forget to bring their bathing suit?
Like Sonny Weaver Jr. said in Draft Day, "Every year, someone comes out of this looking like a donkey". That's a pretty good way to describe what we're about to see in this blitz of head coaching hires across the country.
So...who's going to be the donkey? Dividing schools into these groups will weed out the potential dummy of the year.
A college football program that will get exactly what it deserves
Arkansas
One program you can't feel sorry for is Arkansas. The not-so-subtle coup by Bobby Petrino to force Sam Pittman out so that he can dig in like a tick on a hound dog (or a hog) and reclaim his throne in Fayetteville puts Arkansas in the "you'll get exactly what you deserve" category.
Best of luck in your "search", Razorbacks.
History says these college football programs will make smart hires
Penn State
LSU
Penn State has probably had to make the least number of head coach hires of anyone in the country. After the fall of Joe Paterno, they had Bill O'Brien sweep up the mess before bringing on James Franklin. While ultimately, Franklin didn't deliver the coveted titles Penn State fans demanded, he was still a good hire for a program that needed stability.
LSU made a mistake with Brian Kelly, but their three previous coaches all managed to win both SEC and national championships. Few programs can boast that kind of track record. Like Franklin at Penn State, Kelly didn't dismantle the program or leave it in a shambles, he simply didn't win enough or the right games to satisfy LSU. Plus, it's now being discovered just what an awful person he was while there.
Lots of questions, but these college football programs could hardly do worse
Oregon State
UCLA
UAB
Stanford
These schools are basically the bottom-feeders of the head coach search, and even if they get arguably the worst available option, it will be a step up from what they moved on from.
Of these four schools, UCLA is probably the most intriguing, as they showed signs of life (after being declared DOA under former head coach, DeShaun Foster) under the interim tandem of Tim Skipper and Jerry Neuheisel. If the Bruins get the right guy, they could rule the new-look Pac-12 in future seasons.
Schools that probably should have waited, and now will end up with leftovers
Colorado State
Virginia Tech
Oklahoma State
The schools on this list coulda-shoulda recognized that things were getting out of hand, and that even if they were ready to part ways with their head coach, it might be better to suck it up with him for one more year and let the competition thin out.
As it stands now, these are all fairly desirable jobs, but none of them are going to catch the big fish such as Lane Kiffin or Eli Drinkwitz. They'll be relegated to taking what's left after the top talent commits to their new schools.
A college football program without recent success, but still some allure
Florida
Since Urban Meyer departed Gainesville in 2010, there hasn't been a lot to cheer about in the Swamp. Florida fell from one of the premier football schools in the country to a meme factory in just a few short years.
Will Muschamp, Jim McElwain, Dan Mullen, Billy Napier and a smattering of interim coaches combined for a putrid 109-76 record, and zero SEC or national championships. They aren't dead, but the ventilator is plugged in.
Even with all that, Florida still has a shot at Lane Kiffin, Eli Drinkwitz, and other top coaches who might be willing to move once the season is over.
The college football program who will undoubtedly make the dumb hire of the year
Auburn
Congrats, Auburn. Not only did you mercifully end the tenure of another coach in a string of incomprehensible hires to run your program, but you also waited until there were over a dozen openings already available, Way to be late to the party when it's not fashionable.
This is a program with a checkered history of secret helicopter trips to confab with head coach targets before the current coach was fired, hiring head coaches that bring scandal to the front door, and just outright hiring some terrible coaches (not mentioning a name, but it rhymes with Flyin' Carson).
If any school is going to pin the tail on the donkey only to find out that they just stuck a sharpened steel object into their own ass, it's Auburn.
War Damn Eagle...Tiger...err...whatever you are.