Ranking the ten athletes with the greatest names in college football
By Sam Fariss
You can rank teams by their roster. You can rank teams by their head coach. You can rank teams by their record.
However, one of the most fun rankings in college football is by hilarious, interesting, and unique player names.
From Kool-Aid McKinstry for Alabama to Knowledge Timmons at Penn State, there have been some truly great names in college football.
So, heading into the 2024 season, which athletes are going to get the most attention for their names alone?
Rowdy Beers. 10. player. . Tight end. Freshman. . 2275. Rowdy. Rowdy Beers
How much fun would this guy be at a college party? While he may (hopefully) spend more time on a football field than a frat basement, Rowdy Beers kicks off the greatest names list of this season.
Freshman. 453. king. player. . Offensive line. King Large. King Large. 9.
Get him a crown! King Large is heading into his first season of collegiate football with the SMU Mustangs and he is certainly a part of name royalty.
2312. dodge. . Redshirt junior. Dodge Sauser. . Dodge Sauser. player. Offensive line. 8
Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge. Wait, that's for dodgeball. Still, Dodge Sauser is one of the coolest athlete names ever.
Demon. . Defensive line. . Redshirt junior. 7. player. 2277. Demon Clowney. Demon Clowney
Offensive linemen better not clown around when they line up against Charlotte 49ers' defensive lineman Demon Clowney.
Memorable Factor. player. 6. 434. . Memorable Factor. . Junior. Memorable. Linebacker
An unforgettable (get it?) name in college football is Duke linebacker Memorable Factor who is heading into his third season at the collegiate level.
Chief Borders. 488. chief. . . Chief Borders. 5. player. Linebacker. Sophomore
Break through offensive borders, Nebraska's Chief Borders breaks into the top five greatest names in college football for the 2024 season.
Moh Bility. Moh Bility. 4. Redshirt sophomore. Defensive back. moh. . . player. 2279
What a perfectly perfect name for a collegiate athlete and as a defensive back, his mobility is as important as his name.
player. 529. . Major Burns. Major Burns. Major Burns. . Safety. Senior. 3
The only thing that could make Major Burns' name any better was if he was a wide receiver instead of a safety for the Tigers.
dude. . . Defensive back. Dude Person. player. Senior. 2483. Dude Person. 2
Even if you forget this Central Arkansas defensive back's name, you can just refer to him as that one Dude Person and wait... you've got it!
1. 2509. . Redshirt junior. player. . Quarterback. GB. General Booty. General Booty
The one and only. The former Oklahoma Sooners backup quarterback transferred to Louisiana Monroe this season but that doesn't take any shine away from his: General Booty.
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